So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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