she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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