Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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