Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
