So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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