Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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