dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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