You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize