they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
