Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
