I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize