The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
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Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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