on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
this will be a night to untag.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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