I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
