At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
