the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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