he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
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You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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