CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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