It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
