Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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