Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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