one two three fourrrrnication!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
