addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
