From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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