i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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