I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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