You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
