I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
