If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize