can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
