Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize