im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
