it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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