im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
