You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And then he peed in my hair
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