Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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