We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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