I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
