i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
