Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
