I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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