the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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