Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
