Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
