Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
