My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
