If that was your dad, he is hot
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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