I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
