and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
