so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
