hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
