Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
