why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
