i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize