Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
