I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sext me about skeletons
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
