I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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