Define "chronic" masturbator.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
