you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
