i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
