I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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