She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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