Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
