Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
