My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
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